goatse mobile

I had a strange mo­ment of serendip­i­ty ear­lier this evening.

I was read­ing some RSS feeds and I saw there was a new post to the Flickr tag “first­goat­se.” (If the term goat­se is new to you, I’m not sure what to say ex­cept: don’t blame me when you look it up… now. The above link is safe to view, by the way.)

I felt like I hadn’t seen a ‘first­goat­se’ in a while, so I checked it out. The pho­to it­self was un­re­mark­able, but I was view­ing it on my Nexus S phone and hap­pened to glance away from the screen, at the phone it­self. Something clicked in my head, and I thought of a way to breathe new life in­to the age-old pas­time of show­ing your friends dis­gust­ing im­ages and cap­tur­ing their hor­ri­fied re­ac­tion for shar­ing on the Internet.

HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS WE ALL HAVE SMARTPHONES WITH FRONT-FACING CAMERAS!! (It must be the fu­ture!) These tiny pock­et de­vices are cor­nu­copi­as of giv­ing: lulz for us, lulz for the Internet, and hor­ri­fic, can-ever-forget mem­o­ries for our friends!

Basically, what the best app ever would do is dis­play a hor­ri­fic im­age of your choice… self-supplied of course, in case your poi­son is more tub­girl, or what­ev­er kids the­se days show oth­er kids the­se days. It would al­so cap­ture the re­ac­tion of the per­son hold­ing the phone via the front-facing cam­era, at the very mo­ment of ex­po­sure.

A se­ries of pho­tos lead­ing up to the mo­ment would work nice­ly too. Heck, what about cap­tur­ing a video of the en­tire re­ac­tion? For all I know, kids the­se days are show­ing each oth­er the video equiv­a­lent of that guy bend­ing over and… ugh. For bonus points, it might even com­bine the orig­i­nal and re­ac­tion videos in­to one, side-by-side, not that any­one would want to ever view that.

I’m ready to be­lieve that a mo­bile app like this al­ready ex­ists. It clear­ly, how­ev­er, can’t ex­ist for iPhone, be­cause Apple doesn’t al­low that brand of awe­some, and I can’t be both­ered to check the Android Market (aside from, okay, my quick search for “goat­se,” which turned up noth­ing), but this is clear­ly the kind of app that the wold to­day could use.

Well, there’s a Mac app, but who can fit that in their pock­et?

Hey world — some­body make this!