Every so often I realize that something I believe to be common knowledge actually isn’t, simply because not everyone has the same life experiences as I do. I’m trying to document such things that I know, for the betterment of society as a whole. This blog seems to be the perfect place to do this.
Here’s today’s bit of very important, uncommon knowledge:
Why would you want to do this, you may wonder. What you lose being in a relationship for an admittedly piss‐poor reason, you gain in being able to fill the individual’s name into all sorts of popular music from at least the last 60 years or so. This will help you better put your feelings for them into words, and not sound entirely ridiculous in the process.
Seriously, have you ever noticed how many songs address someone in the second‐person, where the singer sings words of love, hate or some other emotion to an unnamed someone? It’s true! You probably don’t notice just how useful this is until you find yourself in a relationship where you want to express some emotion or another for an individual who is named in that certain way. But once you do, this simple thing becomes very useful, indeed.
So go and find somebody with a compatible name. I suppose you could nickname pretty much anyone “Boo,” but that’s sort of lame. Unless that’s their given name, in which case they’re naturally a keeper.
Here are some example songs to get you started, and names to help narrow the field:
- You’re just too good to be true/Can’t take my eyes off Stu #
- I don’t believe that anybody/feels the way I do about Lulu now #
- Hello/I love Drew/Won’t you tell me your name? #
- I know I’ve got nothing on Lou/I know there’s nothing to do #
- It’s Matthew that I adore/You’ll always be my whore #
- Colour my world/with hope/of loving Jewel #
- You probably think this song is about Marylou. #
- An Eskimo showed me a movie/He had recently taken of Pikachu #
- If only I’d thought of the right words/I wouldn’t be breaking apart/All my pictures of Sue #
- If I leave here tomorrow/Would Kooh still remember me? #
Most pet names count, and of course, this works best with names of fewer syllables. Find the right person and the musical world is your phonetic oyster.