Uncommon Knowledge: Songs about “you”

Every so often I real­ize that some­thing I believe to be com­mon knowl­edge actu­al­ly isn’t, sim­ply because not every­one has the same life expe­ri­ences as I do. I’m try­ing to doc­u­ment such things that I know, for the bet­ter­ment of soci­ety as a whole. This blog seems to be the per­fect place to do this.

Here’s today’s bit of very impor­tant, uncom­mon knowl­edge:

If you’re not in a com­mit­ted rela­tion­ship, per­haps the great­est thing you can do for your­self is begin one with a per­son whose name — or a rea­son­able nick­name for their name — ends in the let­ter “u” (IPA: u: — MWCD: ü — NOAD: o͞o) or oth­er­wise rhymes with the Eng­lish word you.

Why would you want to do this, you may won­der. What you lose being in a rela­tion­ship for an admit­ted­ly piss-poor rea­son, you gain in being able to fill the individual’s name into all sorts of pop­u­lar music from at least the last 60 years or so. This will help you bet­ter put your feel­ings for them into words, and not sound entire­ly ridicu­lous in the process.

Seri­ous­ly, have you ever noticed how many songs address some­one in the second-person, where the singer sings words of love, hate or some oth­er emo­tion to an unnamed some­one? It’s true! You prob­a­bly don’t notice just how use­ful this is until you find your­self in a rela­tion­ship where you want to express some emo­tion or anoth­er for an indi­vid­ual who is named in that cer­tain way. But once you do, this sim­ple thing becomes very use­ful, indeed.

So go and find some­body with a com­pat­i­ble name. I sup­pose you could nick­name pret­ty much any­one “Boo,” but that’s sort of lame. Unless that’s their giv­en name, in which case they’re nat­u­ral­ly a keep­er.

Here are some exam­ple songs to get you start­ed, and names to help nar­row the field:

  • You’re just too good to be true/Can’t take my eyes off Stu #
  • I don’t believe that anybody/feels the way I do about Lulu now #
  • Hello/I love Drew/Won’t you tell me your name? #
  • I know I’ve got noth­ing on Lou/I know there’s noth­ing to do #
  • It’s Matthew that I adore/You’ll always be my whore #
  • Colour my world/with hope/of lov­ing Jew­el #
  • You prob­a­bly think this song is about Mary­lou. #
  • An Eski­mo showed me a movie/He had recent­ly tak­en of Pikachu #
  • If only I’d thought of the right words/I wouldn’t be break­ing apart/All my pic­tures of Sue #
  • If I leave here tomorrow/Would Kooh still remem­ber me? #

Most pet names count, and of course, this works best with names of few­er syl­la­bles. Find the right per­son and the musi­cal world is your pho­net­ic oys­ter.

4 thoughts on “Uncommon Knowledge: Songs about “you””

  1. This is a pret­ty inter­est­ing top­ic I’ve nev­er real­ly thought about in-depth before. Now I’m rack­ing my brain look­ing for oth­er songs that make sense replac­ing “you.”

    So far, I’ve thought of:
    Nev­er Let You Go by Third Eye Blind
    Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo by Rick Der­ringer (not a love song, but the name fits)
    Falling for You by Weez­er
    Will You Still Love Me Tomor­row

    Now I just need to think of some more rhyming names to fit in those songs. ;)

  2. And now you know why I love my cat’s name (Boo).

    Don’t stop BOOlievin’… hold on to Boo’s feel­in’…”
    “Boo’s sim­ply the best, bet­ter than all the rest…”
    “That’s what I like about Boo, she real­ly knows how to dance…”
    “Wake me up, before Boo goes, goes…”
    “I want Boo, I don’t know if I need Boo, but, ooooh I’d die to find out…”
    “OOOOOHHHHH, Boo’s halfway there, OHHHHH, livin’ on a prayer…”
    “When I think about Boo I touch myse.…” Umm. Nev­er­mind. For­get this one.

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